Our emotions in a particular moment are what we are…
Emotions being a domain of the mind, both positive and negative emotions arise and disperse in this faculty. Therefore to understand emotional intelligence it is important to understand the mind in detail. All stress and related negativity that we see around is the play of mind; the way the mind perceives a situation and frames or tags it with emotion. All of this is illusory because the situation is the same for everyone but the reaction is subjective and while using the brain, comes from the mind only.
The mind is like clay, the way you groom it in childhood, it takes that shape and defines the personality of the individual. Therefore it is important that both parents and teachers condition the mind in a way that the self-esteem of the child is developed very well and the child transforms into a responsible adult as he grows.
What is Emotional Intelligence?
Emotional Intelligence (EI) refers to the ability to be able to observe the emotions within and relate with the emotions of others as separate from the visible behaviour and behave accordingly. In other words, it is about being empathetic towards self and others and in that being able to manage and sometimes even manipulate personal behaviour situationally so as to avoid conflict and maintain peace. Emotional Intelligence is about a transition from conditioned automatic behaviour to an intelligent way of dealing with self, others and the given situation.
Emotional intelligence is the foundation of all human behaviour. It has the power to transform relationships, beliefs and value systems and therefore lives. We see stress and conflict at almost all areas of our lives whether it is within family, at the workplace or with friends, relatives, neighbours and even strangers.
The inner conflict or cognitive dissonance – the battle within the metamorphic mind and the heart certainly top the chart. Being emotionally intelligent empowers us to manage both success and failure in life and remain centered.
How to deal with difficult emotions?
When one is in control of emotions and free from the tyrannies of the mind, one can assess the situation in a much better way by going deep cognitively. When an unacceptable behaviour is expressed, the individual who is habituated to think critically will do a post-mortem on the behaviour and end up in going to the roots of the behaviour and hopefully be better next time.
To deal with emotional disturbance, we need to become more aware of how and why a particular emotion has erupted in our mind in a given situation. We also need to check if there is a pattern in which our mind thinks and reacts. For example, do I get angry when I am hungry? This is so obvious to be noticed and yet we miss watching ourselves doing it. When we observe a pattern in our mind, we can try and manipulate our behaviour accordingly.
We need to do the same in case I have a conflict with someone else. Do I see a pattern in which an individual or people in general behave? Can I then maturely mould my behaviour to navigate through the situation rather than getting immersed in a dust of negativity? This ability is known as empathy and empathy has been known to be the biggest ingredient in conflict management – internally and externally.
To increase self awareness so as to be able to see our emotions and manipulate our behaviour accordingly, meditation is on natural way that must be adopted in our routine. Research has shown enough for us to believe that meditation is a go-to way of dealing with difficult emotions.
Emotions make us human. They define our character and personality in the way we react to a situation emotionally. The more we can remain mindful of our emotions, self-aware in the way emotions rise in us, we will be able to manipulate our behaviour in a socially appropriate way as well as take the right decisions especially in testing times.
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